On Not Judging

I  judge. All the time. I form instant critical (negative) opinions based on little to no evidence  . . . and I’m sure there are many more times when I’m not even aware that I’m being judgemental because I’m viewing life through my personal, deeply held belief system. (Life would be bleak indeed without books. Travel is the greatest life experience. Education is important. Wealth is only an indication of wealth.)

I have just started a new teaching job for the summer, which I am absolutely loving. I’ve changed the route I take to campus, however, so as to avoid a billboard with a photoshopped (I am assuming!) picture of a very slender woman in a tiny bikini: “Fat Attack. Summer 2021. This is MY summer.” 

Who came up with that advertising campaign? Who okayed it? Was that really the best they could do? Did they not think about the message they’re giving their viewers? 

Really?!  In 2021?!  It’s not enough that I’m doing my very best to survive a global pandemic . . . I’m also supposed to be worrying about having a beach ready bikini body? As if my body shape &/ or the number on a scale is in any way connected to my self worth. As if my body &/ or that number on the scale is not the very least interesting thing about me. As if anyone at my funeral will comment that yeah, I was a kind person, but too bad about that belly/ those extra pounds. As if thinner = happier, or thinner = better, or  . . . . This is an old rant: it makes me tired, it makes me angry, and it makes me sad. But I will keep ranting, and pushing for change, because change won’t happen with silence. 

Oops. That was only supposed to be a brief example of how much I know I judge complete strangers, and how society makes it so easy for people to judge complete strangers.

Nope. Not including a photo of that dang billboard here - the advertiser needs no more publicity. Instead, here's a tub of ice cream I recently bought myself. And ate. And enjoyed. (And yeah, technically it's not ice cream, because it's dairy-free.) 

I don’t understand anti-vaxxers, but I am trying to listen to them without instant negative judgement. I don’t understand people who support a politician I distrust and strongly dislike, but I am trying to listen to them without instant negative judgement. (So far epic fail in both cases, but I’ll keep trying.)

Piper, my cat, continues to teach me what truly unconditional love looks like. 

It’s not at all helpful when someone tells me that, “I would never do X! I could never do that!” 

Move a loved one into a long term care home. Visit every single day. Not visit every single day. Take a loved one off drugs. Put a loved one on drugs. Take a loved one home for a visit. Not take a loved one home for a visit. 

I don’t know what I’ll do until I’m faced with making the decisions I have to make, but then I do the very best I can with the information I have.  

I will try my best to support whatever decision someone else makes for her loved one - I only ask in return that that person do the same for me. Without judgement.