A Long, Lonely Journey: Loving a Spouse Who is Living with Dementia

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Thursday, September 21, 2023

A path divided

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“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood . . .” Frost’s The Road Not Taken was a grade school standard when I was a child, and I’m surprised tha...
Monday, August 28, 2023

Too Late

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As my great decluttering effort continues I am still finding scraps of paper with notes from Doug - often something as ordinary as a shoppin...
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Saturday, August 5, 2023

On this day in history . . .

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August 4th, 2012 Eleven years ago Doug was full of energy, exceptionally happy . . . and so was I.  This photograph is full of stories about...
Monday, July 24, 2023

Closed Doors (Things I Cannot Know)

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There are questions I wish I’d asked my grandparents while they were still alive. There are questions I wish I’d asked Dad. I have recently ...
Monday, July 17, 2023

1,204 days later

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On March 11th, 2020, Doug and I shared a treat together at his care home. I don't have a photograph to jog my memory, and have no recoll...
Thursday, March 23, 2023

Holding On & Holding Hands

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For as long as possible I held on to the hope that somewhere deep inside some part of Doug recognised something about me. The sound of my vo...
Monday, December 5, 2022

Remembering

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“At the going down of the sun and in the morning/ We will remember them.” October sunrise I often open my classes by reading, or asking a st...
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About Me

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Louise
My husband and I recited our wedding vows in August 2012, agreeing to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health. We didn't know there was sickness already. We never imagined that early onset dementia would define our marriage. In May 2013 he was formally diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. “It's NOT mild!!” I wrote to my sister . . . ah, had I only known how mild it was. I could list all things my intelligent, hard-working, capable, adventurous husband can no longer do - but to what purpose? It would be easy to feel sorry for us - but that won't change what is. I am a witness to his life, I treasure his memories, and I love him. His is not my story to tell, and I can’t speak to the reality of living with dementia except in my role as wife and caregiver. I've made mistakes along the way - but we've had lots of good moments too.
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