I was pleased to see this sign in Doug’s care home again this year. Last year I posted a picture of it on Insta:
My husband’s care home is decorated for Thanksgiving. Many of our (one-sided) conversations this week have started with my reading this sign, debating the difference between “thankful” and “grateful” and then listing ten things I am thankful for, ten things I’m grateful for, and ten ways I’m blessed. It’s been a lovely reminder of just how rich and full my life is, and how very spoiled and lucky I am. #happythanksgiving #thankful #grateful #blessed #dementiasucks #loveforthewin"
Then, I had turned to the OED and the internet to remind myself of the difference between “thankfulness” and “gratefulness” as I tended to use both terms somewhat interchangeably. (Good thing I’m not an English teacher or literary fiction writer . . . oh, wait, oops! Ha ha.)
One year on, I still use the terms as synonyms, but at least I’m more aware of the distinction (as I understand it).
To be thankful is to be pleased, aware of my good fortune, a feeling and a reaction which is internal. To be grateful is to show appreciation, often towards a person. Thankfulness is a feeling, whereas gratefulness is an action.
I use the word “gratitude” to cover both, which may not be precise, but really, when I’m listing all the reasons & things I’m thankful for, grateful for, blessed to have & to be . . . precision is less important to me.
Two reasons I am full of gratitude and know how incredibly blessed I am:
I fed Doug his dinner on Thanksgiving Monday, and went home to an empty house. I hadn’t invited myself to a dinner anywhere; Thanksgiving was going to be a non-event. (And that’s okay.) When I opened the entryway door - there, waiting for me, were pumpkin pie, whipped cream, and a jar of cranberry sauce, from Lorie. (We’d picked the berries earlier that afternoon in our local bog.)
This weekend I was unable to visit Doug.
On Sunday afternoon, when I was feeling especially tired and grumpy and old and discouraged, my phone pinged with a text.
A wonderful photo of Doug, and a cheerful, lovely, loving message from my sister.
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